Friends, giant robots, Megan Fox, lend me your ears — or any other body part you may want to contribute. Today is a glorious day for movie history, and truly, a great day for children of the 1980s. "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" is in theaters.
Friends, giant robots, Megan Fox, lend me your ears — or any other body part you may want to contribute.
Today is a glorious day for movie history, and truly, a great day for children of the 1980s. "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" is in theaters.
Sadly, I was unable to opine about the first "Transformers" movie: I shall do so now. It was genius, sheer genius. That covers it.
In 1984, beauty was given earthly form in plastic toys. Sure, they were kinda (very) cheap, and you lost important bits easily. But c’mon, they were robots AND cars ... and guns and jets and insects and dinosaurs.
Still, what Michael Bay does right — and those thing are few — are explosions, more explosions and more bigger explosions. He’s also good at getting people to scream; scream and run; run, then scream and run; scream at the same time, then dive for cover because of the huge explosions going on all around the screaming/running people.
Frankly, I don’t care what happens in this movie (OK, I do), and I’m sure at some point I’ll start weeping for joy. What’s important is a piece of my childhood was taken by Hollywood and turned into a visual extravaganza. The special effects are amazing, Peter Cullen does the voice acting (he was Optimus Prime and others in the original series), and the robots look great. But the GM tie-in is/was somewhat smelly and apparently expensive. And there’s Megan Fox — pause for applause.
What else was right about the original?
The secretary of defense, played by the inestimable John Voigt, wasn’t some conniving, underhanded, self-serving jerk.
The good guys and the bad guy were clearly defined.
Megatron (voiced by Hugo Weaving, Agent Smith from “The Matrix”) was crazy powerful, but ultimately lost because the Transformers and the humans worked together to win. TV in the ’80s was full of solid, character-building messages, you just needed to look in the right places.
Jon Turturo’s character was loony enough to create some tension, but eventually also realized what side he was on.
Starscream fled after the Decepticons were defeated. Someone was paying attention.
What could have been fixed?
They killed the black Autobot. Really? Jazz was the one to get torn in half? Don’t pretend you didn’t notice. He’s credited in “Fallen,” so maybe they fixed him.
No Soundwave, just that little boombox guy as an homage? This has been fixed, however, and he’s voiced by Frank Welker. Welker is another series original, who’s voice-acting resume goes way back and includes, well, just about everything. However, T-Pain using robot voice would have been sweet. Think about Michael Bay.
(Nerd alert: You’ve been warned again) There’s a reason Bumblebee was called Bumblebee: Yellow VW bug, not awesomely redesigned yellow Camaro. Still, I briefly wanted a Camaro, so, I guess the marketing worked on some level.
The naysayers can have their naysay. I’ve never been more pumped for "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen," a movie that exploits some of the best toy/TV/movie memories of my childhood.